1. It’s the dullest start to a World Cup in living memory: even Italia ‘90 wasn’t this bad. Stale football, with little flair, too many mistakes, and too much fear. Come on guys, this is the WORLD CUP.

2. The standard of refereeing has been excellent (with minor exceptions). And take note Jamie Redknapp – those from smaller or less well-known countries (in footballing terms) have been among the best.

3. The only drone more annoying than the vuvuzelas is people moaning about the noise they make: they may be cheap and made in China, but their origins are authentically South African. Also, Europeans going to Africa and telling Africans how to do things has not generally worked out well in the past. Get over it.

Plus, Mick McCarthy, the only pundit on UK TV who tells it as he sees it, has said the vuvuzelas make for a great atmosphere. They are therefore a good thing.

4. If there is a calamity that can happen, ITV will find it: only 1.5m people out of 20m were affected by the high definition outage that coincided with England’s goal against the United States, but that’s still 1.5m. After Tic-Tac-gate, it’s incredible, and only serves to remove any remaining credibility ITV has as a football broadcaster. And while we’re at it…

5. Peter Drury has to be the worst, most patronising, pompous, scripted and generally annoying commentator out there. He makes Jonathan Pearce appear listenable.

6. England can’t win this: they one-dimensional and toothless, with Rooney out of sorts. It looks like we’ll come unstuck sooner rather than later. (By the way, this is not a post-draw-with-the-US thought – unlike the British media, I expected England to draw with a strong American team.)

7. Spain and Brazil have had the best start to the World Cup: only Germany look threatening. It’s up for grabs for the favourites.

8. The ball’s not to blame, but the altitude might be: this ball has been used in various tournaments for months now – could the thin air be responsible for the plethora of over-hit passes and crosses?

9. The BBC seems to be deliberately provoking the Daily Mail: the purpose-built set and elevator were supplemented by a revolving plateau and a battle-bus. You could imagine Paul Dacre’s blood pressure rising with every degree that the plateau turned.

10. The Italian players need singing lessons: where’s a vuvuzela when you really need it?